Programming jokes

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Programming jokes

A few months ago I wrote an article about funny comments encountered in different applications taken from the web. The holidays are coming so it is time to have more fun and relax a bit. Let’s spend some time on an article about programming jokes. These are all found over the internet, and do not belong to me but they are pretty funny.

Clever jokes

1) (hip hip array!)


2) Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”

The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

3) A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, “Can I join you?”

Yo’ mama’s so…

4) If your mom was a collection class, her insert method would be public.

5) Your mommas so fat that not even Dijkstra is able to find a shortest path around her.

Questions and answers

6) Q: What is the difference between a programmer and a non-programmer ?

A: The non-programmer thinks a kilobyte is 1000 bytes while a programmer is convinced that a kilometer is 1024 meters

7) Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: none, that’s a hardware problem.

8) Need to grab someone else’s private property

Q: “What’s the object-oriented way to become wealthy?”

A: Inheritance

9) Q: Why are Assembly programmers always soaking wet?

A: Because they work below C-level.

10) Q: How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Yes.

11) Q: Why do java programmers have to wear glasses?

A: Because they don’t see sharp

12) Q: What did the Java code say to the C code?
A: You’ve got no class.

13) Q: How did the programmer die in the shower?
A: He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Kinda pervert…

14) Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.

15) Why programmers like UNIX:

unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

16) What’s the difference between Software Development and Sex? In sex, you don’t get a bonus for releasing early.

15) Documentation is like sex. When it’s good, it’s very good. When it’s bad, it’s better than nothing.

You are all invited and welcome to post a joke. Let us know about your funny part, not only about your programming skills and knowledge 🙂

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